Friends, family, well wishers and most importantly to all the kids who relied on me as a role model. Be strong. I am dying.
To my boys, you kept it real. To my dawgs, you kept it tight. To all the cats out there, you kept it hep.
I am going on a journey, a modern Gilgamesh of sorts. I seek eternal life, to tether myself to this mortal coil indefinitely. If I should fail I want my tombstone to read "He Who Saw the Deep".
To zombie Dave I leave my brains, they will give you cunning. To the neo-nazi's I leave my heart, it is the only thing with enough power to resurrect the fuhrer. To Scott I leave my testicles. If you consume them, for six days and six nights your body will be infirm and sickly, your soul will be wracked with the power of my daemon seed. Should you survive you may consider yourself the master of all things. To Jake I leave my invincible fighting style 'Iron Wang'. It is powered by the amorous glances of a girl with clean virtue.
Let them call me he whose name was writ in scotch.